Fear can be frustrating and debilitating. On the flip side, it can be inspiring and motivating. But no matter what, we all have fears. And in my opinion, we can use them all to our advantage. It’s just a matter of practice.
Check out the video or read below to learn about my 3-step method to facing fear and living life!
Just in case you’re left a little confused at how I said fear can be inspiring and motivating, it may not be common but it happens. A child can be afraid of being like their parent(s) and work hard to break a cycle and create their own healthy relationships with their children. An adult can be afraid of being stuck in one place for too long and work hard to find financial freedom. You get the picture on this one!
But to understand how to overcome the other kind, keep reading!
Label The Fear
As I said, and as you most likely know from some point in your life, fear can be frustrating and debilitating. But that doesn’t mean it has to stop us! I’ve had plenty of times where my fear felt almost unmanageable. For example, one of my biggest fears is change. I know, I know. The one thing in life that is pretty much a guarantee of life.
But when I’m in a situation where I’m facing change, the most helpful thing for me is to label my fear. Why am I feeling it? Is it nervousness, self-consciousness, or something else? Once I can pinpoint exactly where the fear is coming from, I can start to decode it and understand it better.
Decode The Fear
If I’m feeling nervousness or self-consciousness or whatever, I’ll ask myself why I’m feeling that way. Is it because I’m afraid of failure, rejection, feeling out of place, or whatever it may be? Then I start to talk to myself in a logical way. I start to break down the fear into manageable pieces instead of feeling like I’m facing it head on.
I’ll ask myself if I fail or get rejected or or feel out of place or whatever, what then? If my brain can come up with another fear-based answer, I’ll ask what then? I keep doing this until the feeling starts to dissipate. Or until the ‘what then’ question can’t be asked anymore. I decode the fear until I feel in control of it instead of it controlling me.
Face The Fear
The last step is sometimes the hardest, even if I’ve stuck to the first two. I have a label for the fear, like nervousness. And I’ve decoded the fear, like me feeling it because I’m nervous that I’ll fail. But sometimes, my emotions still overpower my logic. So what can I do about it? I can face it! I know it seems scary, but sometimes we have no other choice.
Of course, it’s not true for all situations. If you have a fear of sharks, you don’t necessarily need to face it to live life to the fullest. But if you have a fear of social situations, it will definitely help you live life to the fullest to face that. I mean, we’re creatures who crave connection. How can we have that if we don’t face our fear and just naturally become better in social situations by failing forward?
We Only Have One Life, Why Not Live It To The Fullest?
Fear can pop up at the worst possible times. From job interviews to meeting new friends to finding the love of our lives. But the only way we can truly be happy and live life to the fullest is if we do some of the things that scare us. To be bigger than our fear, even if temporarily at first. But we have this one life to live, so why not make it our best one?
If you find that your fear is a little too much for you too handle, there’s no need to be ashamed! ETM has a great blog full of resources on fears that seems more like anxiety here. As always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas and others alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:
With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma
