Planning a wedding is almost always stressful. Not in a bad way, just in the way that something that takes a years worth of planning would create. Okay, maybe it’s not a year for you, but personally speaking here. It took a year of decisions and missed deadlines and new decisions. A year of prepping, planning, and organizing. A year of appointments, phone calls, and meetings. All for one day.
Now, don’t get me wrong here. I loved the process! I loved being able to plan the next big step of my life in order to start the next big chapter of my life. That’s what it’s really all about to me. Not the wedding itself, but getting married. When the pandemic first hit, I got nervous. Nervous that we wouldn’t be able to have the wedding we’d been planning half a year for already. Nervous it wouldn’t happen.
But that’s when I really realized it wasn’t about the wedding. It’s about me marrying the man I choose to spend the rest of my life with. So I talked to the venue and they told us that we could still have our ceremony under the willow tree like I’d always dreamed and still be able to have a small group of our close loved ones there with us. And I knew it would be okay. I knew that things would work out how they were meant to.
And as it turns out, they were meant to happen the way I always imagined it would! I still get to celebrate with my friends and family. I still get to say “I do.” So here are the 3 things I did to have a less stress inducing wedding, especially during a pandemic!
Call In Reinforcements
I don’t think someone could possibly plan every little detail that goes into a wedding by themselves. And if they can, major props to them! Just so people have an idea, planning a wedding isn’t stressful in the beginning. It’s all fun and fairy tale-ish. The stressful part comes when the things you couldn’t do earlier in the process start piling on each other. The stress inducing part is trying to tackle them all by yourself.
That’s why it’s important to have someone (or people) to help you through it. And it’s a bonus when one of those people has been through the experience somewhat recently! (Excluding the pandemic.) I am beyond grateful for the ones I’ve had help me throughout this process. I’ll say it again, I’m beyond grateful! My best friend and MOH has helped me with every single aspect from the partying and fun aspects to the hard and time-consuming aspects.
My grandma has helped extremely financially. And my mother-in-law is always asking what else needs to be done and helping take care of it. Plus, my father-in-law and grandfather-in-law helped make my dream/vision of a beautiful arbor/back drop come true! And if it weren’t for all these incredible people, (and more!) this wedding wouldn’t be the reality it will be this Sunday. I’ll say it again, I’m beyond grateful!
Break It Down
When I said my MOH helped me create a timeline for the wedding, that was a bit of a downplay. In reality, she basically helped me plan the wedding. From sharing a breakdown of the day-of timeline to song ideas to making DIY bouquets to you name it! She even helped my mother-in-law plan my bridal shower and single-handed planned my bachelorette trip. She helped me learn how to do it myself or learn to delegate.
But beyond that, she helped me stay less stressed by breaking down the planning process itself. What needs to be done still? What can be done a month before? 3 weeks before? 2 weeks? And what absolutely can’t wait to be done until the week of? By doing it that way, instead of having one big list to check items off of slowly and in an unorganized way, I was able to make 4 or 5 lists that I could focus on as I needed to.
On top of breaking down things that needed to be done, she was also helping break down the parts of a wedding no one really tells you about. Getting a card box with a lock on it because people have stolen cards with money in it. Not telling the caterer a slightly higher number than is actually attending because then you’ll have food leftover for a week. And my absolute favorite so far – Assign someone to do the ‘dirty’ work on the day of so you have time to enjoy every last second without worry.
Go With The Flow
At the end of the day, there are things that you just can’t control. And not just you, but anyone. Wanting to by wholesale flowers from a cheaper store like Costco but being too late and having to buy from a local florist for a higher price? That’s okay. Having a pandemic and fires all around us during the week leading up to the wedding? That’s okay. There’s only so much we have the power to control, but we have the power to control how we react to the things we don’t have the power to control.
During my bachelorette trip, there was a lot that didn’t go how we intended for it to go. But my MOH and I decided to look at it as life trying to teach us to be more ‘go with the flow’. And guess what? It worked. We decided to take things as they came and just work with it. Running out of time to do our itinerary? No problem, we stayed an extra day and ended up doing more than we planned.
Even when we learned that we might not be able to have the wedding we planned, we decided not to let it affect us and wanted to marry each other that day regardless. We would’ve had the real ceremony and reception down the road when things went back to ‘normal’. (One can hope, even when going when the flow.) This part is probably the most important to remember to have a less stress inducing wedding. So pay attention to your emotions and feelings, and sit down and relax every now and then!
Stressful But Not Stress Inducing
Like I said, weddings are almost always stressful. But that doesn’t mean we have to induce any additional stress on ourselves! I can say with confidence that the only thing that got me through this planning process with my sanity was my squad helping out, my MOH helping me break it all down, and learning to just go with the flow.
What about you? If you’re married, what’s something that helped you get through the process and enjoy your big day? Comment below! You never know, you could be the one who helps save another bride-to-be’s day! And if you want to hear what I first learned when trying to plan a wedding during a pandemic, check out ETM’s blog here.
As always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas and others alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:
With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma
