Self-doubt, negative beliefs, wanting to give up. These are all examples of things I’ve felt over the past few years. At some points, it really got the best of me. At others, I pretended nothing was wrong, swept it under the rug, and moved on. Neither of those reactions are behaviors I really want to happen though. What I want is to be able to face my doubts and insecurities now without letting them affect me the way they do.

But that takes some work! And in order for me to put in the work, I had to figure out how I could apply my effort to deliver the best possible scenario. (Again, not easy! Still working on it each time I find myself in this situation.) So I had to look at the times in my life where things got overwhelming enough to either get the best of me, or the times that I chose not to face head-on. Then I had to figure out a way to keep myself going despite the temporary emotions I feel.

Here’s what I came up with – 3 reasons or ways to stop the self-doubt, negative beliefs, and wanting to give up. I will admit I’m still working on them! But I’m putting them in this blog in hopes to help others the way it’s helped me so far!

Being Genuinely Happy For Others’ Happiness

Look, I know how bad it sounds reading that I have a hard time being happy for others’ happiness. But please hear me out. I’ve had a bit of a rough upbringing, whereas my best friend growing up seemed to always have all the luck. I realize now that’s not how it actually worked, but my young mind couldn’t quite grasp it at the time. A lot of it had to do with the resources her family had compared to mine. A lot of it had to do with mindset.

And with my rough upbringing, I learned what jealousy felt like early on. I really have learned to separate my feelings of jealousy and appreciate the good thing that’s happening for someone I love now. But earlier in life, even up until recent years, I had a hard time because I would question why it wasn’t me or why it was me. Now, when I see or hear about something good happening for someone, even if it’s not someone I know, (because that’s when jealousy would flare up the most for me) I am genuinely happy.

It all starts with getting rid of the feeling of woe-is-me and adopting the feeling of yay-for-them. If your BFF wins the lottery, that is a good thing. Regardless if you can see it right away or not. If your ‘frienemy’ gets your dream car, that is a good thing. Regardless if you can see it right away or not. Being genuinely happy for others’ happiness means not minding whether something ‘better’ happens to them and just minding if something ‘good’ happens to you and appreciating when it does. (Because it does.)

No Doubt (Get It, Like The Band?)

I’m not even going to waste my time asking if you’ve ever felt like you weren’t good enough to try something, to reach a certain goal, or just enough in general, because I know you have. I know everybody has. It’s this thing called self-doubt, and like I said, everyone has felt this way at one point or another in their lives. The thing is that some people just know how to get over that feeling a lot quicker than others. Some people have mastered early on in life to be okay with who they are just the way they are.

Now I’m not saying if you haven’t gotten there yet that you won’t. I haven’t gotten there yet myself. But it is worth putting effort into loving yourself. It’s worth putting in the effort to try, to reach that goal, to just be you. I’ve come to realize that self-doubt exists because seeing is believing. Stay with me here! Seeing is believing, that’s the way we as human beings respond to things. If we see it, it must be true. Another way of stating this is actions speak louder than words.

But here’s the thing. That might not be what we should base all of our beliefs off of. Especially when it comes to ourselves and our abilities. Because sometimes what we see is only what others want us to see. We’re not seeing the whole picture in other words. When we see someone on social media who has accomplished a whole lot more than we have at our age, (at least in our eyes) it’s easy to get down on ourselves. But we’re not seeing their whole life! We’re seeing glimpses of it, and the ones they want us to see at that! We’ve got to learn to accept everything that happens in our lives and remember to pay attention and remember the times that work out in our favor.

The Little Engine That Could

I can’t tell you how many times in my life when I’ve wanted to give up. (It’s more than I’d like to admit honestly because it makes me feel weak.) But I know I’m not weak, and that’s when I know I can’t and won’t give up. I’m not weak because I can look back on all the things I’ve overcome so far. I’m not weak because I’ve raised my little brother from a teenager to now which took a lot of hard steps to do but I’m glad I did it. And I’m not weak because I started my own business not knowing if it will succeed or fail but I did it anyway.

So the times when I feel like giving up, the times where I want to call it quits, that’s just temporary. I let the feelings happen, and then I remind myself of the story of The Little Engine That Could. The power of optimism really goes a long way, and I’m learning that more and more throughout these recent years of my life. The more negative you think, the more negative things will be. I always heard that growing up, but it was hard to get out of that state of mind. The more positive you think however, the more positive things will be.

Just tell yourself “I think I can, I think I can” (or whatever variation works for you) until you truly believe it in your gut. You’ve made it this far in life doing things that at one point you never would’ve imagined you’d be doing or could even attempt doing. Think back to those times. Think back to the last time you wanted to give up but didn’t. What came out of it? Is it worth trying again even though it might not seem like it in the moment? Yes it is!

Stop That Behavior, Now

When I tell you to stop the self-doubt and negative beliefs, I mean it! It does absolutely no one any good. You truly have to believe in yourself and your ability to do the things that set your heart on fire. Why else would they set your heart on fire if you didn’t have an inkling somewhere in your body that it truly could be done? Times will get tough, there’s no denying that. But remember who you are, what your capable of, and why you’re doing it.

What do you think? What’s a time that you’ve had self-doubt, negative beliefs, or just wanted to give up? How did you get through or over or around or however you handled the situation? Please share in the comments below! You never know, you could be the one who helps change someone’s life! And if you’re looking for my secret to getting out of a negative mood, check out ETM’s blog here.

As always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community of Mommas! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:

With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma