Ahh anxiety. It can get the best of us and turn us into the worst of us. And it can affect anyone and everyone. What even is anxiety anyway? Other than the literal definition of ‘a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome’. Well, anxiety is basically not living in the present and remaining mindful.
It’s either ruminating on the past (which is more or less depression, but stick with me here) or anticipating the future. But, there are tips and tricks that can help us to be more mindful and stay in the present, even when struggling with anxiety. I’m about to share the 5 things that have helped me with this most since beginning to work on it. Hopefully they all help. But if even one of these can help just one other person out there, that’s all I can ask for.
So without further adieu, let’s get right into it. And if video form is more your style, click the photo to watch some of these tips in action!
Breathe
This is actually the first thing I started to work on when my anxiety seemed to start getting to be too much to handle. A lot of the time when I’m anxious, my chest will get tense which leaves me with a shallow breathing capacity. Other times I unintentionally start to hyperventilate. Either way, not good for me. Sometimes it can be a somewhat simple fix, others not so much.
Sometimes it’s as simple as noticing the tenseness in my chest and letting out a deep sigh so I can take a normal breath again. Other times I have to force myself to take a deep inhale to override the hyperventilating, followed by a deep sigh so I can take a normal breath again. But sometimes my anxiety isn’t as easy and simply fixed like this. So I’ll implement a breathing exercise my therapist taught me.
Simply put out one hand with all 5 fingers fully extended and spread apart. (Or all 4 fingers and thumb, depending on how grammatically accurate we’re getting.) Then take the pointer finger of your other hand and run it up and down each of your fingers slowly. Inhale deeply on the way up, exhale deeply on the way down. By the time you’re done with all 5, you’ve better regained control over your breathing again.
Picture This
If you’ve followed along with me for a while, you know that one of my bigger goals is to start taking more pictures. And you might also know that’s because I haven’t been the best at it, and still am not the best at it. But, when I am able to do it, it is one thing that can help me be more mindful and stay in the present. *I want to point out that only a couple hours after I made this video, I found reason for the contrary so I know you might too. But for the purpose of this article, I’ll keep going.
When I take pictures, I’m letting myself be more absorbed in whatever it is that I’m doing or a part of. For example, on my birthday, my husband, brother, and I went out to dinner. It was a lovely dinner and we all enjoyed it. But, the problem lied in when we were getting ready to leave. We were so focused on the next thing that we were going to do, that we almost missed a perfect picture opportunity.
And that’s why I’m bringing up this point. Because just as we were about to leave, I saw a great spot to take a photo with 2 of the people I love most. And I took advantage of it! I had my brother take a picture of me and my husband, and vice versa. A plus to it is I don’t get a lot of photos of or with my brother, so I’m glad we took the time to be present and get a sentimental one!
Related: It’s Normal To Not Be ‘Normal’
Gratitude
So again, if you’ve followed along with me for a while, you know that I’ve talked about my gratitude journal more than a few times. But only because it’s been one of the biggest helps for me in this area. Not only does it help me conceptualize just how many good things I have going for me, it helps me keep an eye out for them too! And I like journaling little things too.
Whether it’s my brother making dinner, my friend reaching out to say hello, spending time with my animals, you name it! This helps me not only stay focused on the present and what happened today, (instead of focusing on the past or future) but it also helps me be more attentive and keep an eye out for more things to be grateful for.
Plus, like I said, it helps me conceptualize just how many good things I have going for me, even if there are those times where I might not feel like it. I can look back at all the things I’ve written down in my gratitude journal, and appreciate them once more. Plus, when you make it a consistent habit like I have, you can look back at other gratitude journals to see that even through all the hard times you’ve been though, there have been things to be grateful for as well.
Focus
This one has been a little bit harder for me to learn and practice than other ones, because my anxiety makes my mind tend to go from place to place thinking about the next thing I have to do, what could go wrong, you name it. But I find that when I am doing that, I can take a step back and try to remind myself to come back to the present. To not let myself ruminate on the past or worry about the future. That this time right now is all I have and I should be here living it.
Like I said, it can be hard though. So if I find that I’m having a harder time doing this than I’d like, I’ll use a technique that I actually learned about quite a while ago. I’m not sure who started it, or where I even learned it to be honest. But it’s something that spoke to me and has helped me through a lot, so the technique itself I’ll never forget. And it is the 2-minute rule.
This basically states that if you’re looking at your to-do list and feel overwhelmed by the pressure of what to do next, start with a task that will take two minutes or less to accomplish. A lot of the time, we overestimate the amount of time it takes to do something, which will put us off from doing it. But if we can take on a two minute task, that’s something to cross off our list and then we can start the narrowing process again with the same rule. *Plus, sometimes the task might take more than two minutes to finish, but once we’ve begun we already have that momentum to keep going instead of feeling stuck at the starting line.
Let Go
This one has arguably been the hardest one for me to learn. But it’s something that I still work on with my therapist each visit and something that I continue to try to practice in my own time. A lot of my anxiety seems to stem from things I don’t have control over, but we all only have a certain amount of control over things in general anyways. And I tend to stress on them and let them control me in a sense.
But what I’ve been working on is focusing on things that I’m best at or things that I can do, and let go of the rest. I am learning that I can’t do everything on my own, and that’s okay. That’s what delegating is, and the best of the best learn to do it when they need. I also can’t fix everything on my own, like other people’s feelings. I can only do what is in my power.
But working on letting go has been really good for me and my stress. Because I can’t control everything, do everything, fix everything, I’ve learned to ask for help (sometimes). And by asking for help, I’m decreasing my own stress load that I’ve put upon myself. I just need to work more on letting go by not having such a hard time allowing myself to do this part in the first place.
Related: The 3-Step Method To Facing Fear & Living Life
Live In The Moment
Look, whatever it is you already do to work on being mindful and staying in the present, that’s awesome! No, really, it’s a huge first step that’s hard for a lot of people to take. But if you’re finding that you struggle a bit more with breathing, focusing, letting go, or any of the other things I talked about in this article, I truly, truly hope at least one thing I’ve said can be of help.
So give it a try, and see what it does for you. If anything, these are great practices for anyone to have in their toolbox of life skills! And as always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with others alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:
With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma
