Lately I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch. Everyone goes through them from time to time, I know that. But sometimes it can last longer than I want it to. From lack of motivation to feeling inadequate, there’s no shortage of things that happen when we’re dealing with rough patches.

But how do we get ourselves out of a rough patch that’s especially rough? How do we get our motivation and feeling of confidence back? I’ll tell you right now that it’s not always going to be easy. Occasionally, it might take all the strength you have. But it is possible.

Now I know that no two people are exactly alike. (Which is actually pretty amazing, if you ask me.) So some methods might work better for some people, and not so great for others. That’s okay. Life would be boring if everything had one concrete answer or solution!

Find what works for you. And if you’re still having trouble finding out what necessarily works best for you, you aren’t alone! Sometimes it takes advice from outside sources – whether that be loved ones or community forums. Sometimes it takes learning a new habit and practicing it daily to reap all the benefits. But no matter what, keep trying until it works!

Setbacks & Solutions

Sometimes my rough patch is an actual problem. Good news about this. When there’s a tangible problem, there’s almost always a solution. Fix something, ask someone, you get it. In my opinion, these are the best types of problems to have (other than none!) Because in my opinion, these aren’t so much problems as they are setbacks. And like I said, setbacks almost always have a solution.

This doesn’t always mean we’re going to like the solution. Often times, we might hate it. But a solution can be found regardless. For example, as you probably already know, I’ve had a hard time conceiving. I’ve spent 13 months trying with 2 consecutive miscarriages. I was starting to feel heartbroken.

But, I can either let it break me down, or I can be proactive. So, I decided to take a hormone/fertility test to see exactly what’s going on with my body. I’m not letting myself expect good or bad news. I’m just waiting to see what the results say. And no matter what they say, I know there’s an option for me to become a mother no matter the route I take.

Trials & Tribulations

Sometimes my rough patch is a lesson to be learned. There’s hopeful news in this. When we’re learning, we’re growing. And often times, we’re able to learn something from minor trials. But other times, major tribulations are what cause great growth. From the embarrassment of a mistake to the pain of losing a loved one. But can you find the similarity between that trial and tribulation?

It’s that we can’t prevent either from happening. A true mistake when made is a complete accident. Sure, we can look back now and see everything in hindsight with 20/20 vision. But that doesn’t mean we could moving forward. Mistakes happen. And we become stronger, smarter, and better people learning the lesson that comes with it. (Embarrassing as it may be.)

Same goes for tribulations. Life doesn’t always present us with the outcomes we had wished or hoped for. But there’s nothing to do about that except try to make life the best we can with what we have. I couldn’t have prevented my Dad from passing away, as much as I tried to convince myself I could at first. I can, however, cherish and nurture healthy relationships more, and be more mindful with the natural delicacies and fragilities of life.

Really Rough Rides

Sometimes, my rough patch is simply that. A really rough patch. Sometimes, we just have to hang on and wait for the ride to be over. There’s not necessarily a solution, or a lesson to be learned. There’s just accepting that negative aspects are just as much a part of life as positive ones. But acceptance can be really hard for anyone from time to time.

Harboring anger, resentment, guilt, or whatever it may be is unhealthy for us. Letting go and accepting things as they are is the only way we’ll be able to savor the amazing parts of life. (And there are so many amazing parts!) For example, I used to feel so angry and sad at my family circumstances. And being 100% honest with you, I still do every now and then. But I’ve also learned to accept that there’s nothing I can do about it.

I can hope and wait for things to change. I can wish for the power to help them get better. But neither of those will do anything good for me. It’s been in learning to accept things as they are that has made things just a bit easier for me. I can’t control others, just as others can’t control me. And I can’t make anyone do anything that they don’t want to do, just as they can’t with me.

Related: Reset & Recharge

Feel Our Feelings

I read somewhere recently that our feelings are like cornstarch and water. (I’m sure you’ve experimented with this non-Newtonian concoction before.) When mixed together, it does 2 things depending on how it’s interacted with. If you try to stick your hand in using force, the mixture has a solid consistency. It becomes hard and creates a ‘block’. But when you gradually stick your hand in, the mixture has a liquid consistency. It becomes fluid and can be molded.

Think of this mixture like our feelings. When we use too much force, or don’t allow for gradual feelings to occur, we become blocked. But when we allow ourselves to feel our feelings, we’re able to then move through them. So, if you’ve been struggling with allowing yourself to be in your feelings, come back to this metaphor. Remember that life is full of all sorts of problems and negative aspects, and it’s how we handle them that makes or breaks us.

And as always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas and others alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:

With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma