All relationships requires work. I think that’s a fact that we all know. But how can we maintain our relationships? Should a relationship be based solely on the premise of having commonalities? What happens (and it will happen) when a difference of opinions or background or anything else pops up? Will the commonalities be enough to navigate the relationship and keep it in good standing?
Odds are they won’t. Hence why relationships take work. Hard work. And often times it’s the hardest to navigate when it comes to 3 things. You probably guessed them from reading the title of this blog, but differences, difficulties, and decisions require the most effort to keep a relationship in good standing. And the concepts behind the work aren’t complicated, but the work itself is where things can get complicated if both ends aren’t putting in the work.
Let’s get right to it.
Differences
When it comes to differences in relationships, most of the time they’re a good thing! But they can also cause some tension and conflict. Especially since a lot of the time, relationships involve men and women. And as we all know, men and women are very different. So when it comes to navigating differences in relationships, the most important thing we can do is at least acknowledge them, and at most hopefully learn to celebrate them. Differences can be helpful!
We can get another perspective on things, we can get more accomplished in less time, it all depends on how you look at it! With my fiancé and I, we can get end up getting a lot accomplished if we are limited on time. If we have a day together to work on the house, he’ll do the outside work while I do inside. With my best friend and I, we can always share perspectives, and they’re not always the same! If she gives me input on what changes she wants in politics, I’ll listen sincerely and learn from her, even if I don’t end up agreeing with her.
Difficulties
This applies to the difficulties that arise from being in a relationship, but it also applies to each individual’s difficulties that they’re facing on their own. Every relationship will face difficulties with each other from time to time, it just comes with the territory of being in one. But the key to getting through is, again, acknowledging them but also giving effort to solving and working through them. We need to learn to enter a mindset of ‘us vs. the problem‘ rather than ‘me vs. you‘ or ‘my problem vs. your problem‘.
To do that, we need to learn to listen to hear rather than to respond. We need to be willing to help or give advice or just listen and be there depending on the situation. We need to communicate objectively rather than subjectively. And don’t get me wrong! This isn’t “Oh, I just have to listen to their problem and tell them how to fix it and if they don’t like what I’m saying then oh well for them.” It’s “How can I hear what they’re saying without letting my feelings or knowledge or anything else get in the way of resolving the difficulty rather than making it worse?”
Decisions
Decisions can be one of the hardest aspects to work with when it comes to relationships, for obvious reasons. And in case it isn’t obvious, it’s because a lot of times each of us is the one who thinks we have the right choice. But here’s the thing, thinking we have the right choice is subjective based on our thoughts and opinions. And the other person thinking they have the right choice is based on their thoughts and opinions. So who’s to really say who’s right?
The best option for making decisions, and this might sound cheesy beyond belief, is to write it all down. A pros and cons list, a budgeting/finance plan, a time frame plotted out, whatever works for you! The smartest way to navigate making decisions is to make level-headed choices, and that’s sometimes hard to do when both people let their feeling and emotions get in the way. So writing it down gives both people the chance to get what they want to say out but in a way that’s easier to absorb and come to a conclusion on.
Intention
No matter how you are navigating the differences, difficulties, of decisions in your relationships, (and remember, a relationship can be a spouse, sibling, best friend, etc.) make sure you’re doing it with intention. Purposefully acknowledge differences and what make them unique. Put in the time and effort to resolve difficulties. And make decisions from a place of calmness and willingness to learn/grow.
What about you? Do you have anything that helps you navigate these tricky territories of relationships? Please share in the comments below! You never know, you could be the one who helps turn someone’s relationship (and maybe even life) around! And if you’re looking for ways to navigate learning how to find balance and harmony for yourself, check out ETM’s blog here.
As always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community of Mommas! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:
With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma
