Hi there. I’m sure many of you have wondered where I might’ve disappeared to for the past month. Well, to be honest, I haven’t really gone anywhere. I’ve been dealing with certain life circumstances that have caused me to draw back socially.

You see, on June 14th, my father passed away. It was sudden and unexpected, and it was by far the worst day of my entire life. But you wanna know what the worst part is? No one gives you any time. You have to just keep on going with real life.

And saying ‘real life’ sounds so stupid too. I mean, this is real life. In its most screwed up and basic sense. I should just say you have to continue to deal with the rest of your life. But without the proper time to grieve, or mourn, or even just be upset or angry..

Companies still want bills to be paid, landlords still need properties cleared out, and super important decisions need to be made. Since then, I have become the legal guardian to my younger brother. I have felt the insecurity of not knowing what to do next yet still moving forward. I have had to take on a whole new meaning of responsibilities, including ones I could’ve never imagined in my wildest nightmares.

But I have grown.

And to be outright honest with you, I couldn’t think of a new topic to cover this week. I barely even wanted to start doing this again, but it’s important and means a lot to me. Considering what I have gone through in the past month, I couldn’t think of a better topic to go with than the one I was writing just a few days before my dad passed.

Change your script, change your life.

This is an exercise from a self-help book I have been reading. I completed it for my next blog post, which hasn’t been able to be posted until now. So I figured I’ll write what I have down. The first one is how I would write my life’s script focusing on dramas and difficulties I have gone through without any further prompting. The second is how I would write it looking at myself through a more empowered lens.

~I have always been book smart but not so much street smart. Also, I have always been the person to help others, but I can get jealous. I graduated college and received an AA, but I’m still afraid to end up like my family. It’s difficult having Epilepsy and Neurocardiogenic Syncope, and I’m afraid it will affect my life. I am a hard-worker but I want to know what my future holds now.

~I had a decent childhood that taught me to value things like family, love, and trust. It evolved into a difficult adolescence, but that taught me to be strong and resilient. Developing medical issues taught me the importance of taking care of myself and that not everything in life can be planned. I’ve made plenty of mistakes (trust me, plenty), but who hasn’t? Mine have taught me to be a better person in many different aspects. I’ve had some setbacks going for what I want, but it’s taught me not to take the easy way out. And that to get where I want, I need to work my ass off. I still get jealous of others sometimes, but it shows me the qualities that I want to improve in myself.

It isn’t easy, trust me. But it really makes a difference in your life, so give it a try. By changing your script, you can change your life.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your support by the way. You inspire me to continue making content, and I promise I will continue to deliver. Or at least try!

Until next time.

Love, B