Okay, I have to start by saying that this isn’t going to be a blog talking about how I have a fool-proof method for beating anxiety. But I will be talking about how I have found ways that help me deal with my anxiety. And don’t get me wrong, I’m also not going to talk about how I have conquered and overcome my anxiety completely. But I am going to talk about what I do in situations that cause my anxiety to rear its ugly head.
Like I mentioned, this isn’t going to be a fool-proof method, it may not be for everyone. But I’m hoping it will spark your creativity into thinking of your own solutions to your own anxiety! And we all know that anxiety isn’t a one-size-fits-all issue. So whether you’re dealing with social anxiety or PTSD, there are three key things that I feel each person should address before allowing themselves to feel defeated. Here they are.
Be Honest With Yourself
As with users facing an addiction, the first step in getting the help we need, or in being able to address the problem, is to first admit that there is something that we want to change. And often times, that’s the hardest part. It seems silly but it’s true. We often have distractions that we use in order to mask the problem or try to forget about it. But that’s the thing with anxiety. It tends to pop up when we’re feeling good and safe because our bodies feel that we’re capable of handling it compared to when we’re emotionally distraught. One of my distractions is cleaning.
When I’m facing severe anxiety, I have this habit of cleaning or organizing my house or office or computer or you get the point. But when I first started going to therapy, she helped me to realize why I do that. When my anxiety flares, it can feel like I have no control over the things going on around me. (And sometimes that’s true, which makes my anxiety even worse.) But the reason I use cleaning as a distraction is because mentally I want to feel like I have control over something and that is normally the easiest thing for me to control. But in order for me to realize that, I needed to first be honest with myself and admit when my anxiety became too much to handle.
Reach Out To Trusted Sources
If therapy sounds daunting or like it’s only for broken people and you aren’t broken, (sidenote – that is absolutely not true) maybe try reaching out to a loved one you trust. However, the first step here is admitting you have a problem that you need help with. That is always the first step. But the second step can simply be confiding in a parent or a spouse or a friend. Just make sure it’s someone you feel you can be open and vulnerable around or else it’s not actually helping in the way that it should. Being open and honest about the problem is the easiest and usually quickest way to start solving the issue.
When we reach out to people we know we can trust and start sharing our problems, the easier it is to get a support system in place. And a support system can be the key between feeling like you’re floating or sinking in your anxiety. My fiancé is my go-to when I’m feeling overwhelmed (aka having a nervous breakdown or panic attack.) And because I’ve confided in him in the past, and because he knows the things that cause my anxiety to feel the worst, he knows the right questions to ask and the right things to say to help get me to calm down. My best friend, my brother, my therapist – these are all people who make up my support system. Who makes up yours?
Ask For Help
I know I said that admitting you need help can be the hardest part, but this part can sometimes be the hardest for people. Why? Because it requires that we admit we aren’t in control and that we don’t know how to be. It requires us to be the most vulnerable and the most honest with ourselves. Even when we might not want to be. It’s more than reaching out to a loved one. It’s more than talking to a therapist. In this case, it’s about admitting that we don’t know how to feel better or deal with our anxiety even when we have other measures in place. And that’s okay!
It’s okay to still feel overwhelm even when we’ve admitted that we need help. It’s okay to still feel overwhelm even when we’ve talked to a trusted source. (Another side note – it’s no one’s fault if talking to a trusted source doesn’t help!) And it’s okay to need more help handling the issues that were bigger than we thought they were. If you are still dealing with severe anxiety that interferes with your daily life, as I sometimes do, talk with your doctor. There are so many other things that can play a part. Genetics, experiences, trauma, etc. And it’s not about getting rid of your anxiety completely. The important part is that you get back to a place of feeling like you’re the one in control again.
Help – No One Is Too Good For It
There are over 50+ songs with the word ‘help’ in the title. That should say something. Even being a celebrity who seems like they’ve got it all together still needs help, so there’s no reason to be ashamed when we do. All it takes is being honest with ourselves, reaching out, and we can all get the help we need. And why shouldn’t we? We all deserve to feel happy and fulfilled with this one life we have!
What about you? What’s something you do or have done to help yourself to be in control of handling your anxiety? Please share in the comments! You never know, you could help change the course of someone’s life! And if you’re looking for ways to help manage stress, check out ETM’s blog here.
As always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community of Mommas! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:
With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma
