Joy, stress, and everything in between. That’s just what’s to be expected when you’re planning a wedding. From the engagement to the big day, there’s a range of emotions that most brides (and sometimes even others) may feel. All brides go through the same basic emotional stages. There’s joy, shock, stress, annoyance, worried panic, acceptance, excitement and nervous anticipation. And a vast amount of advice to sort through!
Now, don’t get me wrong. My wedding day was absolutely spectacular. And I still count myself so lucky and fortunate to have had the wedding I had, it truly was a dream! There are just a few aspects I know that I would’ve done differently looking back. Not because I’m upset with the outcome, just so it would’ve been able to flow smoother without as many hiccups.
Don’t ask me why weddings are stressful in general, that’s a whole other topic on its own! But, if you’re in the stages of planning your wedding, or that day hasn’t even crossed your mind yet, keep these pieces of advice in mind to help take just a little of that stress off!
Make A Transportation Plan
While I know this piece of advice is actually out there for brides already, what I’m about to say applies to the brides (like myself) that don’t take it as seriously as they should. When I say have a transportation plan, I mean to and from the wedding. Even if you have arranged a place to stay for the night. This includes any equipment, decorations, and supplies arranged to be dropped off before the wedding, and it includes any leftover food, floral, and gifts to be taken home after.
We actually had a pretty good transportation plan getting everything we needed to the wedding, it was the after plan we didn’t make. We assumed everyone would offer to help or make sure everything was in order, but it was no one else’s responsibility but ours. Plus, it’s sort of a given that people who’ve been drinking quite a bit aren’t as aware and equipped to solve problems. So why is the transportation plan important? Because it makes sure everything you’ve paid for doesn’t go to waste!
Unfortunately, we ended up missing out on all our leftover food and cake because so many people assumed someone else was going to take care of it. We even stayed the night at the venue, but no one had said anything to us upon checkout. When we got home, it wasn’t here. We called around, but no one knew. We still to this day have no idea what ended up happening to all the leftovers. The venue most likely threw it out when no one took it home. And how can we blame them? It wasn’t their responsibility, it was ours. So plan ahead!
Share The Schedule (With Everyone!)
The day-of schedule. It’s kind of a big deal. This is another piece of advice that’s available to brides, but some out there (like myself) might not take it as seriously as they should. Everything from having clean and dry hair to get ready, to the schedule of events during the ceremony and reception. Some of it I knew to take care of, other parts I seriously lacked on. I knew what the order that I wanted things to be done in, but that’s the problem. Only I knew.
I assumed I’d be the one moving things along from one thing to the next with the wedding planner. But in reality, the photographer had a timeline in mind that we followed instead. Nothing wrong with it, but it threw me off a little being different than what I had planned. I also assumed things would flow pretty nicely without rehearsing ahead of time. Oh, what a fool I was. I had no idea how long it would take to take pictures with everyone and unfortunately didn’t get to make rounds and say hi to everyone I wanted. The show must go on after all.
And if I’m being dead honest, the thing I would actually change about my pre-planned schedule is the photography timing. I honestly think it would’ve been pretty cool to do a ‘first look’. It would’ve been cool to do group photos before everything so we had more time to enjoy ourselves. It really is hard to fit all the photos you want in an hour of everyone else drinking and waiting impatiently for you to get back to your own party. So, like I said before, plan ahead!
Assemble Reinforcements
This is probably a key piece of wedding advice that brides don’t take full advantage of. I know we all want our wedding to have our own touch and taste, but we can still accomplish that even with others help! And I mean beyond the typical scope of what brides consider to be ‘help’. There’s nothing wrong with assigning tasks to or asking favors from family members, the wedding party, and even close friends who will be attending.
If I would’ve asked for more help assembling the table bouquets or customizing bridal party gifts or any other aspect that I was still working on until the day of, I probably would’ve been less stressed out. And I know every bride is automatically stressed on her wedding day, but these were additional stresses I put on myself. If I would’ve asked for more help with making sure certain decorations and drinks and whatnot were dropped off earlier, we probably would’ve been on time to our rehearsal.
And one thing I definitely wish I would’ve asked for more help on is keeping me in line. I know that sounds somewhat selfish and a little childish, but it’s true. Lots of people have gotten behind the idea of ‘drinking buddies’. I could have simply told my MOH my drink less, eat more idea, and asked her to make sure I stuck to it. Instead I made a big deal of being able to handle myself like an ‘adult’. But if you look up ‘brides who drank too much on their wedding’, you’ll see that it’s not too uncommon for brides to drink a little much on the big day. Nerves, am I right?
Make A Photo/Video Plan
I actually thought I had this one figured out. Well, at least somewhat. I had the venue make a sign that read “Share the love! Use the hashtag #candbweremeanttobe on social🙂). It was the same phrase from the link to our wedding website that everyone had to RSVP on so I assumed people would understand. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s to never assume anything. It can really get you in a lot of trouble with your relationships and it’s not a very good use of our communication skills.
Only a handful of people actually used the hashtag when sharing photos from the wedding so I had to go through and find some to save. The reason I say some is because I didn’t think about how long it would take to get the photos/video back from our photographer. I mean it’s pretty obvious now that I think about it, but I didn’t beforehand. Of course within a few days we had the incredible ‘sneak peeks’ from her, but ironically that only left me wanting more!
I wish I would’ve asked a friend to capture the moments I wanted to look at right away. The cake cutting, the bridal party walking down the aisle, the little details in the decorations and setup, that sort of stuff. Luckily, my husband has an aunt that’s basically famous for having her camera around! She sent a cd in the mail of all those precious moments and more! I really wish I would’ve asked someone to video our first dance though. But again, we got lucky that we had videography for the wedding so now I know I’ll for sure be able to look back on it!
Eat More And Drink Less
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Eat breakfast, even if you have to force yourself. Eat lunch, even if it means interrupting the people talking to you and going to sit to scarf down some snacks. And eat as much as you can during your dinner, even if it means smiling with a mouth full of food during speeches. And drink less alcohol. Here’s how: If you have an adult beverage in your hand, time to switch to water. If you have a water in your hand, finish it and then you can have an adult beverage. Do not forget this piece of advice please! Eat more and drink less!
Hindsight Is Always 20/20
It’s a phrase that’s been true for me more times than I can count. And it doesn’t matter how much advice I sort through or how many ‘real-life’ stories I hear about. But that doesn’t mean we should let it affect us negatively! Yes, we could’ve done this differently, or that another way. But in my opinion, that would always be true. Even if we knew different beforehand.
Things have a way of working out a certain way. So we shouldn’t spend our time thinking about how we wish we could change the past. Instead, we should focus on how we can learn and do better in similar circumstances in the future. Obviously there’s no similar circumstance to being married, but we can learn things from certain aspects. I’ve learned how important communication is, to allow myself to ask for help when I need it, and other lessons.
What about you? If you have been married, what’s one piece of advice you could give to future brides to help make their big day better? And if you’re looking for more wedding advice, check out ETM’s blog here. As always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas and others alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:
With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma
