Almost everyone on this site is dealing with some part of parenthood. Whether you’re a Momma, a Momma-To-Be, or dream of the day you can become a Momma someday. The same is true for Dads! Whether the time is now, the near future, or yet to be; this is a community for parents. But today I want to address something that I’m sure plenty of parents have had happen to them during the course of becoming a parent. And it’s not always done on purpose! Still, parents have enough going on when the parenthood journey finally begins, that these aren’t more things they should have to deal with.

*I want to point out that this article and video might be a sensitive subject for some. Please feel free to read it with a trusted loved one if that makes you feel more comfortable. And be sure to share it with anyone that would benefit from hearing this info! Let’s get to it.

Expectations

It’s no secret that when the parenthood journey begins, some expectations might accidentally be put into place. Some from ourselves, some from others. That’s not always a bad thing! And for most, the journey will look different. For some, the journey begins when they first find out that they have a Little One growing inside of them. For others, the journey might be more premeditated. And still for some, the journey might involve some extra medical care and precision. But no matter what, expectations start to form. From name-planning to financial priorities and more, some expectations are completely normal!

But when it comes to other expectations, from ourselves and others, some aren’t necessarily healthy for us to have. A due date for one. Well, not necessarily a due date, but a conception date. A lot of us hope that becoming pregnant will be easy. I mean if you can get pregnant on accident, how can you not trying on purpose? But it’s not always the case. For some, myself included, the parenthood journey is a little longer before it even begins. And that’s okay! Becoming a parent is an intimate decision and might require a lot of time, effort, and even money. How about we keep the expectations to what name or school to pick, and let the rest happen as it may?

But what about all the comments that my loved ones make? We’ll get to that right now.

Comments

Look, hearing your mom, dad, mother-in-law, father-in-law – you name it – make comments on wanting to be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, again – you name it – is NOT easy. Especially when we already want to be a parent ourselves. But, we’ve got to be somewhat understanding and empathetic. I mean, when they say they want to be a grandma, aunt, whatever, what they really want is for you to be a parent too. When you hear comments like, “Any baby news?” or “I can’t wait to have Little Ones running around here like that,” what they really want is to share in your enjoyment.

I get comments all the time from family and loved ones. “Do ___ and you’ll get pregnant.” From positions to health advice and more. And at first, it hurt. I felt like I was letting down more than myself. I became scared that it wasn’t going to happen. I thought if I’ve already miscarried once, what does that say about my chances of having children? And others comments soon became my own comments swirling around in my head. Wondering, worrying. But I’m okay with it now. I’m open and say where I’m at on my journey. Even though it’s scary and feels embarrassing, I gain support and understanding from others. And I’ve even got less pressure through comments by doing so!

Stress

Okay, so we tend to put this on ourselves the most. From expectations to negative comments in our heads, to focusing so hard on becoming pregnant that we cause too much stress on ourselves. Mentally and physically. And that’s no way to have a baby! Some of the best advice my doctor has given me is to have patience and practice self-care. Above all else! Yes, we can still focus on the important aspects. But, it’s also important to focus on ourselves!

A lot of times women can get so worked up on becoming pregnant, that it won’t happen. But as soon as they decide to go on a vacation or adopt, boom! Pregnant. I can’t explain the reasoning or physics behind it. I can only tell you how many stories I’ve heard along those lines. As long as you’re taking care of yourself mentally and physically, and practicing patience, good things come to those who wait. But for now, try to ignore the expectations and the comments and let this journey be one you allow yourself to enjoy.

Learning To Let Go

My own parenthood journey has been an interesting one so far, but it’s been full of learning lessons and positives along the way. My miscarriage left me feeling hurt for a long time. But this business was born instead, helping parents at every point in their parenting journey along the way. Not to mention the lives of the children receiving the items but also those who are in desperate need. Starting my period for the first time after trying again hurt more than I knew or thought it would. But here I am 7 periods later learning to let go of any leftover expectations or comments I thought I had already taken care of.

And you can too!

If you’d like more info on my parenthood journey and part of the story behind it, check out ETM’s blog here. As always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with others alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (: (And please feel free to reach out to me for a way to unapologetically be yourself if you’re not sure where to start!)

With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma