It’s that time where I begin to think about my New Year’s resolutions for the coming year. Some people already have theirs figured out, listed down, and posted on their walls because they’re that important. Others couldn’t care less about them. Me, I’ve had a love-hate relationship with them for the majority of my life. But that’s most likely because I was choosing resolutions so far out of a year’s reach, just trying to be hopeful and keep myself motivated. The opposite ended up happening.

This year though, is different. For obvious reasons like the ones going on all over the world right now (too many to mention), but also because a lot has changed for me this year. From sad aspects like losing a decade-long friendship, to happy ones like getting married amidst all the chaos going on. But also for other aspects that may just be a part of growing up. Have you ever had the experience where you wanted to make an important change in your life, and then all of a sudden references to that change keep popping up everywhere? Any aspect from the least important to the most?

If not, keep an eye out. You may not have been noticing but I’m sure you will now. It’s like when you buy a car or have a dream car that you want and then you start seeing it everywhere. Have you ever had the feeling that you’ve wandered way off your intended path? Look, I know I’m not good at transitions, but stick with me. Have you ever felt like you were heading in a certain direction but then came across a sign you didn’t understand so you made an educated guess? And now you’ve ended up close to your destination but there’s something blocking you from getting there so you have to reroute and find another way to get there?

Am I sounding crazy to you yet? Or are you still with me? Because there is a point to all of this, I swear. This year I’ve had my fills of ups and downs and in-betweens. I’ve done a fair share of growing, but I’ll never be ‘fully grown’. Each year will bring new challenges and obstacles, as well as new chances and opportunities. And it’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned, because what really can? What I can do is take the lessons I’ve learned, the experience I’ve gained, and keep going. Keep finding ways to improve, to grow, to live this one and only life I have.

And I have felt the feeling of being close to my intended destination but just out of reach. And for a long time that left me feeling sad, frustrated, defeated. But it’s now that I’m realizing that it’s okay that I didn’t get there on my first or second (or even third or fourth) try. I’m still trying! And as long as I’m trying, I’m learning, I’m improving, and I’m growing. I may not be where I intended, but if I keep at it long enough, I sure as heck will get there.

If you thought that this would be me listing out my New Year’s resolutions for next year, I can understand why. But I felt like it was much more important to talk about why I make them for myself first. It’s not just to say I have them. But it’s not so I can meet every one with ease either. It’s so I can grow as a person, as a human just trying to live life the best way I know how. Even though my best isn’t always the best. And if there’s one thing I can ask of you this week, it’s this: Why do you set NY resolutions for yourself?

If you’re not sure, think about some past ones you’ve set. Which ones did you do well with and which ones did you struggle with? Look back on this year. See where you had hard times and times where everything seemed okay. Let those things influence how you frame your goals for this coming year. And come back next week to see what my resolutions for 2021 are.

P.S. – If you’re looking for an idea of what 2019 Brandolyn thought up for 2020 (without knowing about a pandemic fast-approaching), check out the blog here. And as always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas and others alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:

With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma