You know the saying, “Do as I say, not as I do”? Well, it’s no mystery that Littles do a lot better at following what they’re shown rather than what they’re told. You know, the exact opposite of what you want. Well, in a way, this can be a good and a bad thing. Say a parent is an alcoholic and doesn’t know how to have a healthy relationship. This example will help shape the child in one of two ways: either avoiding that behavior or following it.
It might be pretty obvious how this can shape a child in a bad way – adopting a bad behavior and possibly continuing that pattern. But how can it shape a child in a good way? If the child chooses to avoid that behavior, then the chain has been broken so to say. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave it up to Littles to have the strength or the know how to take that route. So I’ve made a list of 3 ways that I try to implement good behavior in myself to set an example for my ‘Little’ (he’s not so little anymore) to follow. Here they are.
Creatures Of Habit
I’m sure you’ve also heard the saying, “We’re all just creatures of habit.” But have you ever put in much thought as to how true that is? Because it’s pretty darn true! We as human beings form habits that we do every day to make life easier for us. But have you ever formed a bad habit? I know I have. But haven’t you also formed one, if not many, good habits too? I know I have again.
So my goal is to create as many good habits as I can and get to a point where they come naturally to me. From there, my ‘Little’ will be able to see me in action practicing these habits daily. And with that, he will be able to see that’s just what we do. Brushing teeth and showering every day, it’s natural to me. And at this point, I know it’s second nature to him too. Being polite to any customer service worker, it’s a must for me. And by now, I know it’s a must for him too.
What I have to remind myself is I can yell at him what the right thing to do is all day long. But he’ll probably learn faster and have a better idea of how it should look when I just practice what I preach. So I continue to form good habits myself and let him follow suit. Whether he knows it or not, him being able to see me practice good habits shows him there are not only ways to be good to myself but others as well!
Be-You-Tiful
This one is a two-fer. And it’s centered around confidence and independence, which are key to a happy and healthy life! I’ll start with independence because I feel that one is easier to teach Littles. Of course it changes as they grow older, but it’s always a good idea to start them young so they learn the idea and are more accepting of it. Like having them brush their teeth, make their bed, and clean their rooms. As they get older, they can unload the dishwasher, help with laundry, and even help cook dinner.
Independence is a good thing to teach Littles at a young age because it helps them learn to face new challenges that come their way. And I know that feeling of pride watching your Little try something they once would’ve been scared to do! Which is why confidence is tied into this section. I’m sure you know how overcoming obstacles can increase your confidence level. And even make you want to continue facing new challenges and overcoming obstacles!
When you learn to do things by yourself, not only does it increase your confidence, but now you know how to do something you didn’t before! I know how scary it feels learning something new and making mistakes, but once I have that feeling of accomplishment, I want to keep improving. And I’ve watched the same feeling of excitement and pride when my ‘Little’ faces a new challenge on his own and overcomes it.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
This is something that I’ve always valued in many ways. I’ll start with the most basic: If I don’t know there’s a problem, how do I solve it? If I don’t know there’s something wrong, how can I fix it? Same goes for others. If I don’t let them know something bothers me, I can’t just sit and simmer on it. That’s not healthy in any case. So honesty is the best way everyone can do their best, to be honest.
Another reason honesty is great: It teaches us as humans humility. We have to learn to accept our faults, the mistakes we make, the inconvenience we might sometimes cause. But here’s the thing – everyone else does too. When I make a mistake, it’s exactly that. A mistake. It’s up to me to admit I messed up, learn from it, and grow. I can’t be afraid of being judged if I wouldn’t judge someone else for making the same mistake.
Honesty also allows others to be there for us when we need it. Think about it. If someone doesn’t know I made a mistake, how can I expect any help to right the wrong? How can I expect anyone to listen to my story and most likely make me feel better? That’s exactly how I feel my ‘Little’ would think. So I make it a point to allow him to be honest with me, and be there for him. No judgement, no telling him how he could’ve done better, just accepting him for who he is and letting him know his mistake doesn’t define him or how I feel about him.
Where’d You Learn That?
When it comes to setting a good example for your Little(s), there’s no right or wrong way! And there’s no one-size-fits-all option! You know them best and how they work. The only thing that makes a difference is that you are trying to set the best examples you can for your Littles as often as you can. We all know we can’t be the best version of ourselves every minute of every day, and we can’t expect that either.
What good examples do you try implementing yourself hoping your Little will follow suit? Share in the comments below! You never know, you could be the one who helps a Momma connect with her Little better! And if you need something geared more toward teenagers specifically, check out ETM’s blog here.
Thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community of Mommas! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:
With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth to Momma
