It’s a weird feeling going through this pandemic with some sort of big future plan. Whether you were planning a wedding, pregnant, or even trying to change careers before this pandemic, life doesn’t just stop. If you were pregnant, you either still are or you’ve already had your Little One. Either way, props to you Momma! Becoming a mother is already scary and hard as it is, let alone during an international crisis!
If you were trying to change careers, odds are that dream job you were aiming for might not be as available as it once was. But you don’t let that stop you! You’ve seen how the world has changed, and you’ve even changed yourself. So you’re learning how to adapt, how to come back better than ever and possibly find a better career! If you were planning a wedding, (like myself) you probably still plan on marrying your loved one, right?
But here’s where it gets hard. Will it still be on the same date that was planned? Are we allowed to invite as many people as we originally planned? What’s going to happen if we can’t get married? These are all questions to the plan I had, and it’s taken me some time to adjust. But I’m implementing 5 new things into my wedding planning process to help make the transition into the unknown just a little bit easier. Maybe they’ll help you too!
Act Like It’s Still Happening (Even If It Might Not)
Look, there’s no guarantees that the wedding will officially be off. But there’s no guarantees that it won’t either. So what I’ve decided to do is continue planning it as if it is going to happen. I’m still deciding on music and decorations and listing the important people to ask for speeches. I’m still (slowly but surely) taking the time to write my vows. And I’m doing all the things I would otherwise be doing if the world wasn’t dealing with a pandemic right now.
My plan is also to make payments to vendors to get everything paid off so we don’t have to worry about it anymore. One of my friends was supposed to get married in April and unfortunately had to move her date. But she said the best thing that came out of the negativity is that the wedding is completely paid for and will still be happening, and now they can focus on saving for the honeymoon, using more money for real life, etc.
Reach Out To Vendors Regarding Policies
Speaking of vendors, while we are making payments to our vendors, I’ve also reached out to all of them regarding their policies. From the venue to the florist to the caterer, all it takes is simply reaching out via email or phone. To my delight, (and slightly my surprise) they have all said it won’t be a problem to postpone and move dates if need be. And just like that, one of my major problems and stresses solved! I’ve also reached out to the bridal store and they are 100% flexible with changing dates around and even pulling special favors! (And I don’t mean financially, I mean creatively.)
It also keeps you and your vendors in good standing as well. Instead of them thinking you will be cancelling a contract, they will be able to work with keeping the contract and simply revising a few things. That way, you still have your vendors while they still are able to make a profit. Don’t forget other vendors like photographer, DJ, etc. And if one of them isn’t flexible in moving dates, I would hold off on making any more payments until you and your family/loved ones have decided what step is best to plan next.
(Tentative) Save The Dates
My wedding date is September 13th of this year. Please don’t tell me whether you think that date will work out or not. Because in reality, there’s no proof of either. It either will or it won’t. If it does though, I don’t want to be unprepared. So even though wedding invitations aren’t normally sent out until a couple months before the wedding, my plan is to send out (tentative) save-the-dates. Our guest list is at around 100 people (thank you fiancé for having a big family on both mom and dad’s side). But, there’s no saying whether all 100 people will be allowed to be there even if it does still happen.
So I’m currently making save-the-dates to send out letting everyone that we want to invite know we would like them there on our special day, but to stay tuned because the end result is out of our hands. It doesn’t have to be expensive or even bought! You can make personalized ones of your own and mail them out, or you can even find a way to virtually reach out to guests. I’m going to save the money for the real invites when the time comes!
Become BFF’s With Pinterest
Pinterest is the ish. From lazy girl hairstyle ideas to DIY decor, I’m all about it. And since I don’t have many people to meet up with for wedding planning, I have been scouring Pinterest, getting ideas and reviews and tips and advice and all other sorts of help. I’ve found ideas for me and my girls, ideas for saving money and making my own decorations, you name it! I’ve found everything from ideas for my bridal shower (whenever that ends up happening) to accessories and shoes to wear for the big day.
One of the best parts and also one of the trickiest is that you can even shop items you love straight from the app. With clothing type stuff, I normally only stick to ones linked to Etsy because I like supporting small business! (Plus I’m not the most trusting person with unknown companies, which is ironic because my business is fully trustworthy. Go figure.) Otherwise I’ll search for more detailed photos or a DIY tutorial to follow and make other things like decorations and props.
Go With The Flow
I’m putting it last because the other things on this list are what people worry about most, myself included. But I almost think it should be at the top because it’s the most important. No one really knows what’s going on right now and no one can predict exactly when things will get better. The only thing any of us can do is keep pushing forward knowing that that day will eventually come. So, go with the flow! Just like I say take every news article and headline with a grain of salt, I’m going to say to not worry too much about things working out exactly the way we were originally planning.
Who knows? Maybe they’ll turn out better than we hoped. Maybe this situation gives some of us more time to figure things out which in turn takes away more stress. Bit by bit. Take it one step at a time. Trust me when I say I know the feeling of wanting things to work out so badly. My late father’s favorite number was 13, hence the date of the wedding. But if my wedding doesn’t end up being on September 13th, maybe there’s a reason for that. And I’m slowly but surely learning to accept that and just go with the flow.
It Will All Be Okay
One of the quotes I love by John Lennon says, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” It’s a reminder to me. A reminder that if things don’t feel okay or aren’t working out, it’s not over. If things don’t go the way I plan, it’s not the end of the world. I can change course, learn along the way, and things will be okay! Maybe the way things do turn out are better than what I could’ve planned for myself anyhow!
What about you? Were there any big life changes happening for you before this pandemic that you had to keep figuring out? If so, please share in the comments below. You never know, you could be the one who helps someone get through an unbearable time! And if you’re just looking for some small changes in general to implement in life, check out ETM’s blog here.
As always, thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas and others alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:
With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth To Momma
