In a day in age where communicating is instantaneous, it’s a bit ironic how we can be so connected to people miles away from us while being so distant from those right next to us. How is that?
Well, I think it’s because communication has become something we have sort of ‘unlearned’. With texting and messaging it became easier to ‘fix’ what we’re saying when we’re talking to others. Now we’re able to entirely change what we would’ve originally said when words are not able to be taken back.
We’re able to ‘ignore’ others when they say something we don’t agree with or like. And we’re able to to ‘mask’ ourselves because people aren’t able to see our body language when we communicate (which can tell a lot.) But it’s important to have face-to-face conversations with people too!
So here are my 3 tips that I try to remember when I am engaging in conversation with others so I can try to continue to do it without getting discouraged.
Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is super important when talking to others, with yourself and them. For example, setting a boundary with yourself can look something like having an ‘out’. A way to pause the conversation when it gets too hard and return to it when you have the words you want. Or a way to excuse yourself completely if the conversation becomes too difficult. Yes, this is totally okay!
And this also applies to a boundary with others! When you decide what level of conversation is too much for you, you are also letting others know what is too much for you. Boundaries are a great way to start having conversations with others because it makes each one a learning experience and building block for others to come.
Just don’t get too caught up on the boundary itself because it’s important to push your boundaries to grow. Think of them more as stepping stones to being able to have conversations where you don’t have to ‘fix’ something. Where you don’t have to edit or alter any of yourself to communicate! I can’t wait for this day to come and I even get glimpses of how much better communication can be when I put this into action!
I Understand You Can’t Understand
If I ever find myself in the midst of a conversation where there is going to be no agreement, the best option for me is to agree to disagree. I say, “I understand you can’t understand or see my point of view. I also understand if you feel the same way. Instead of putting in this much effort to not get to a conclusion, how about we just let this one go?”
It’s not saying that we can’t be friends because we disagree. It’s not saying that I’m going to ignore you because we disagree. I’m just communicating that even though I enjoy talking to you, this might just be something we can’t talk about. This is totally okay too!
On top of explaining that we just don’t see eye-to-eye, I’m explaining that I still want to continue having conversations with them. This is why communication is so important! Instead of losing a relationship because of one disagreement, it’s merely that – a disagreement!
Gotta Start Somewhere
Another important thing I try to remind myself is that communication is important to have lasting relationships. And in order to do that, I have to start somewhere! So even if I don’t do as great as I try to on my first attempt, there’s always next time. And even if I don’t get exactly where I want that time, there’s always the time after.
One reason this is hard for me is because I’m naturally an introvert. Another reason is because sometimes I have a hard time turning what’s in my head into words. But again, this is 100% okay! As I like to say, I’m a work in progress. Aren’t we all?
You see, in a world full of instant communication and hiding behind screens and squares of so-called ‘perfection’, it’s good to give ourselves a break. We’re only human. We make mistakes. And the best part about making mistakes is learning from them!
Communicate
If you’re anything like me, you know just how hard it can be to communicate for many reasons. But you also know that those who love you will accept you for who you are, communication style and all!
So if you have any tips or tricks that have helped you communicate better, share ’em in the comments below! You never know, you could be the person who helps someone else form a lasting relationship! And if you’re looking for more ways to communicate with your Little, check out ETM’s blog here.
Thank you so very much for being a part of ETM’s community of Mommas! I encourage you to join discussions, interact with Mommas alike, and be unapologetically yourself! Until next time, I hope I’m able to help make your life as simple as could be. (:
With all my love, Brandolyn – Earth to Momma
